Why Knowing Yourself is NOT Selfish Self Care but Supports You to Thrive
As I sit down to write this, I am thinking about how I have changed over my lifetime and how the people around me have changed as well.
How tastes have changed, bodies have changed, needs have changed. even how we see the world has changed.
For example, now, I put my needs above efficiency every time. Why? Because somedays I just need to sit and look outside a window with a cup of hot water instead of jumping eight into my daily yoga practice, and doing things right away.
This is part of energy patterns changing as we get older. (At least according to my friends and the women's circle I hold every month for women over 45!)
I also know what time is day is best for me to do certain things; like socializing, intense focused work, doing everyday tasks, etc.
Over the years, I’ve learned to listen and center myself into my core essence. The part of me that tells me what I need in the moment and what needs to be nurtured in my life.
If I don’t know what soothes me, how do I know where to pull from to feel relaxed and refreshed?
If I don’t know my limits (physically and energetically), how do I know when to stop, or when to keep going?
As we grow and shift and change, understanding, realizing, and recognizing that what we feel as nurturing, nourishing, and supportive also changes.
They have to.
We are different.
Everything is different in body, mind, and spirit.
It’s also important to remember that different people have different needs at different stages of life.
Your needs may different as a 55 year old woman taking care of her parents with a family while navigating menopause, than a 35 year old woman dating.
The way you see yourself, sense yourself in the world, and support yourself is different as you get older.
Knowing all the subtle nuances of change that have happened in life as you grow is significant to your well-being, vitality, and pleasure.
This is a big part of self care, this part about knowing yourself in all its various elements.
But, it’s never too late to start!
Here’s a little game I call “Knowing Yourself 101”
The best place to begin is by keeping it simple and even a bit intellectual.
It seems that when we start with the intellect, that understanding allows us to begin to tune-in a little bit deeper and really begin to feel into what’s actually needed and listen for the answers to arise to simple inquiries.
Having a bit of patience is valuable here.
What we’re looking for in this exercise is the inner voice of the Wise Woman talking.
What is the Wise Woman Voice?
Well, It’s easier to say what it isn’t.
The voices of the Wise Woman don’t shout. They speak softly so you have to take time to listen; encouraging you to slow down and be mindful and reverent of where you are on your path.
The Wise Woman also doesn’t dictate. She’s not one size fits all. She’s not dogmatic.
She is really practical and very personal, asking you to listen to your body and integrate with your amazing body, emotions, spirit and your energy.
With that understanding in your heart let’s step into our vitality and thrive just a bit more…
I don’t know about you, but I love some visual help in tracking what I’m looking to shift and change-up!
Below is a simple table to begin to support your energy INTO vitality and OUT OF burnout, overexertion, and efficiency.
As the seasons change, there’s some different needs based on the seasons and a woman’s energy, but this is a great place to start on your self care journey.
It’s really simple.
Get cozy with a cup of your favorite hot beverage and…
For each need in the chart below, jot down ways that Need is met in your life and ways it is NOTmet. Allow some time for the deep Inner knowing of your Wise Woman voice to reveal itself to you.
Why finding time to thrive is not selfish worksheet
Some other fun ways to think about self care is with “tools”; Like color, crystals/stones, food combinations, planets…
For example - what color nourishes you in the autumn? What crystals vitalize your energy? What culinary herb sends you back to a good memory of cooking, of nourishing yourself?
None of this is to make you feel bad or that you’re not doing enough.
It’s a lens to reflect though and discover where you’re drawn for a deeper self care.
When you take care of yourself, everything seems easier and you can handle the little things life throws your way every once in a while.
As we get older, into what Rosita Arvigo calls our Sage years (yes! Sage until 75!), our needs are different than when we were young. We’re in a more enriched place in life. Awareness becomes our friend. We want to share more of our experiences and show others the world.
So, in ending, I ask:
If your needs were met, how would you feel different? How could you effortlessly grace the world with all you want to share? Who could you support?? and How do you want to be in the world?