Our Heroines Journey Into Self Care
To do this justice, we need to begin with where we are now in society, what the contemporary journey is…
In today’s Western based cultures, what we experience in life’s ongoing care of body, mind, and spirit, is what is known as the Hero’s Journey.
This current journey, is one of pushing up and out of the body into the mind or beyond for “the solution” or “the definitive way” to fix ourselves, or to take care of our bodies.
This journey is designed to be a quest in which we put on our armor and set out into the world to conquer the separate elements and claim victory.
It is a way of seeking that it is designed to have us look to only outside influences to guide us and the systematic steps that work in a linear way for fast paced quick results.
I’m sure you’ve tried them like I have. Generally they are:
*”the simple quick fix”
*the “definitive” system
*the specific series of steps done in a specific order to obtain a desired goal
*the “do this for that problem”
*the “bio-hack” …
The search outside is so intense feeling, and, it assumes we all are the same, disregarding the differences in our individuality; physically, psychologically and emotionally.
There doesn’t seem to be time, or a place, carved into the system to find and listen to our internal guidance for some answers either.
So, the Hero’s Journey is about conquering the body.
Not Self Care.
As we actually know it, Self Care is about taking responsibility for our own existence and loving our emotions, spiritual paths, and our bodies as the sacred physical manifestations they are.
We do this by listening to the still small voice inside for guidance, following our rhythms, doing things the way that works for our wholeness, and finding things we love that will sustain us into the future not in the immediate moment of time.
This asks us to be patient, flexible, follow our own ways that nourish us and give us pleasure.
In this way, the Hero’s Journey doesn’t fit for women’s self care in particular.
It really isn’t flexible, nourishing, or, pleasurable.
Especially when it comes to taking care of ourselves while taking into account all the changes besides the physical that happen during our aging process.
I began noticing this as I started my own journey into self care while using the Wise Woman Wisdom ways and also while guiding and supporting women through peri-menopause and beyond with herbs and through self care mentoring.
And this is when little things began to be revealed in conversations…
Nothing seems to happen in a linear way.
Meaning that our needs will change throughout the evolution of this journey.
Changes arise, leave, then sometimes return, often for short periods, and we readjust ourselves.
Some people have loads of “symptoms” while others often have none, or only 1 or 2.
We never expected to traverse the rocky planes of delving into the parts of ourselves that have been given away through a life of “duties”.
Whether that was to partners, children, friends, parents, or jobs.
There is also much that arises in our consciousness about power and powerlessness, invisibility, using our voice in ways that strengthen us, a revived connection to our Spirituality and the Earth, changing responsibilities, and what new ways we will interact in our own families and society.
At this time in our lives, we are emotional, often tired, and have taken care of everyone else for so long, that we no longer actually know ourselves and our bodies as we did before. (Hello anxiety, my friend :) )
Enter, The Heroine’s Journey for Self Care.
photo by RI Ya
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To step into this space, the space of the Heroine’s Journey, is committing to being different than what modern society offers us, and to be different with ourselves than we have been in our past.
In contrast to the Hero's version, in the Heroine’s Journey there is a vulnerable descent into many aspects of our lives, instead of a singular outward quest.
It includes this journey within.
We work our way from the physical body into the depths of our heart and soul and source from within to find balance, vitality, wellbeing, and joy on a regular basis.
Here, there is no armor to put on because there isn’t a battle against the elements. In fact, we often let our guards down as we step into a space that is more nuanced, complex, and intuitive.
This journey often hits women around peri menopause and menopause, when lives not only change hormonally, but also change within our family units and our relationships shift and grow.
Our Heroines Journey encourages us to softly step into the feminine qualities of life that have been regarded as un-useful and unnecessary.
The intuitiveness, the softness, the inward seeking for guidance, the presence, the primal essential parts of ourselves we put on the shelf and are now ready to bring out and have some fun with.
What is most noticeable is that feminine doesn’t ask us to do things, she invites us.
She invites us:
to lean into the circular, evolving, yet consistent changes of stepping into our inner evolving landscape that often surfaces in our body, emotions, and mind in different ways. To be responsible for our own well-being through a growing awareness of the shifts and changes that happen at the blink of an eye and leave just as quickly.
She invites us:
to be more vulnerable - shedding skins; inward, downward, into all the layers of our lives as they have piled up - what needs to be let go of, what isn’t working.
She invites us:
to live more from the heart and soul. Asking, “Does it FEEL right?”
She invites us:
to move slower, be in greater presence and awareness within our unique rhythms
.
She invites us:
To be more intuitive, to listen within to what our bodies are telling us, what our senses are telling us, what our emotions are telling us.
To listen to that still small voice inside of us to guide us instead of looking for answers outside of ourselves all the time.
She invites us:
into a more conscious journey of pleasure, joy, wellbeing and aliveness.
To do this, is to become embodied. We feel, a lot…
We feel through our senses and through sensations in the body.
We feel emotions: anger at ourselves, grief and loss of loved ones, frustration as our bodies change and we realize we are in charge of our own well-being because no one else is going to do it for us (or they even to seem to be indifferent), we feel anxiety as we discover we aren’t able to multi-task as much anymore or remember the name of specific band member we liked from a one hit wonder back in the day.
This is because, as our hormones are changing us electrically and chemically, we are essentially being “rewired” for the years to come.
We feel everything.
This is embodying - being in the body IS the feminine way :)
So the Heroine’s Journey of self care becomes a more intense and embodied one.
A journey that requires patience and a continuous awareness into our bodies and lives that change more often than in earlier years.
A conscious journey within for answers, after a lifetime of looking outside of ourselves.
It’s a rich, nourishing, nurturing, satisfying journey where we begin to experience deep love and care for our bodies whether its through a physical illness as initiation or not, for our emotions, for the fullness our lives and what it is asking us to shift and change for us to step more into our vitality, health, and well being; not only for ourselves (which comes first), but also for those around us.
A journey where we remember that all parts of life and our body, mind, and spirit are to be tended to with love and nurturing, not performance and victory.
It’s from this experience and wisdom that I can say that self care is not a straight forward path and there’s not one singular way, steps to take, or specific herbs that help everyone, because we are all individuals and different needs at different times.
Each woman’s journey is different and lasts for a different amount of time.
Which taps into one of the greatest mysteries… that just like flowers, we all have separate needs and cycles of growth, showing us we are all unique and don’t fit into any one way or definitive system.
All this happens within us as we connect into deeper mysteries of life that aging has to offer us in our infinite wisdom with awareness, kindness, and going slow with the flow.
As we begin to understand that self care is a journey into our heart and soul that guides us to our needs and ever changing rhythms, we can relax into it and appreciate the gradual slowing down of our energy into a nuanced place.
I’d love to know what your experience with self care has been throughout the years and how it’s changed as you have evolved into peri-menopause and menopause. Are you comfortable with it and any help you may be asking for? or have there been barriers in the culture as me and my clients have discovered?
I’d love to know in the comments below this post.
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For more information and more tips on living more in your power, following your rhythms, Tend to your self care, and trusting your voice inside, subscribe to my email list where we dive a bit deeper every month with herbs and flower essences, and Wise Woman self care to assist your journey :) .